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The chronicles of a burdened whining slovenly mom

17th August, 2004. 10:53 pm.

They deleted my post in formula_nazis, I can't ever imagine why? And I have been demoted to no longer a member status! What the hell?

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17th August, 2004. 9:03 pm.

Sweet Onions!!
They made a community just for people like me!! It's called formula_nazis!! I love formula so much, and I hate that breasts make milk, even my boyfriend gagus_dw hates it, and he wouldnt touch me for the weeks that I actually had no choice about lactating. I don't give a crap what anyone says, formula makes my life so much easier, and I am totally willing to risk my daughter James' health so that my life is easier!! Plus, I'm sure that even if I went to that place that rents books and read something about risks of formula, I'd still use it! I feel so cool to belong to a community that is hardcore pro-formula!! Oooo, maybe I should share my recipe for deep fried formula fritters, yummy!

Current mood: excited.

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13th August, 2004. 8:15 am.

I love my man, gagus_dw is so hot with his tattoos, he really stands apart from the other emos. Making babies is fun with him. Last night we ate spaghetti-Os with our matching sporks, hee hee, we are so cute, don't you think? He gets very depressed and suicidal when online people start telling him stuff he doesn't want to hear. IT'S VERY SERIOUS AND NO ONE UNDERSTANDS!!! I know that the addition of our daughter, James, has really ruined his life, but I am trying to tell him that if we can leave her alone with some of my formula cakes we might be able to work on our problems. Heck, she could eat those for a long time and she wouldn't even need a new diaper, cause they block up the poop chute!
Dang, where is grammy now? I gotta do a plus-size load of laundry and no one can help me off the couch! Oooo, I can hear gagus rehearsing his music, he is so incredibly talented. I dont think he'll mind if I post the lyrics to his new song--he's gonna be a supa-start. Supa-start?? HA! I guess I have Carnation Good Start on the mind...I meant to say supa-START! Damn! I can't leave off the T! Supa-start, supa-starT, sooopa-staRt, damn!

gagus' new song:
boobs are pretty
oh so pretty
they are pretty in my face!
and someone told me they're for eatin
and i shit all over the place
i said no they are for squeezin'
you think i am some dork?
they said its the one food
you cant eat with a spork
i said hey i feel like dying
and they told me go ahead
just gimmy some of that formula
and place a bababib under my head

Beautiful, isn't it?
*wipes tear from greasy eye*

Current mood: loved.

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8th August, 2004. 11:31 pm.

I have got to get me one of these!!Collapse )

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6th August, 2004. 11:57 pm.

I hate everything. Why can't Grammy just get up off the couch and get me my chicken pot pie? I have to do everything around here. Being a mommy sucks big time. I wish I could invent something to make my life easier!! I just want one of those bababibs that will hold the bottle up for me cause I am too tired to do it! All this baby does is cry cry cry! Why wont he shut up?? I told him so many times that if he doesn't stop crying, I'm gonna give him something to cry about! Then I have to get up from my couch and make him a bottle of formula, and then he poops and it stinks so bad! Somethings wrong with it, but who knows!! He also has this terrible diaper rash that just wont go away! I kinda feel bad for him, but if he could just hurry up and learn to use the damn toilet it would be better for me! Those boob nazis just wont stop! I mean, its like they are trying to help people for fucks sake! they just come in and start nicely telling everyone their "factual" and "realistic" experience and proof, and they just wont let up!! They have this cahrazy organization called the LLL, whatever that stands for, and they have all this government proof and tons and tons of facts facts facts!! About breastfeeding!! Gee whiz, I wish they would just keep it up! Then there are the AP, attachment parenting? what the frig is that?? I will keep a safe distance from my son, thank you very much!! And I will cut off any part of his body that I see fit! He's my son afterall! I think I'll put him in a 24 hour daycare, that way I can get some peace and quiet for once!!
I miss being pregnant, I think I'll try to have another baby, they are just so much fun!!

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